Here I am ( Year 2013 )

It's been good 2 years plus or so. Since I wrote a post here. Confessions. that's what I'm here for, the social networks such as Facebook & Twitter isn't helping in the least way concerned. Throughout the years, I've always wanted to improve myself emotionally. But I've became useless, though I feel good sometimes, this happiness never lasts. Being a Military men now, I've loads to worry about. Be it the outside world, or in regimental ground. Like how I always am, I do what I like. As long as I don't harm other's life, it's okay isn't it ?.


But then why do people have to condemn for the slightest mistakes I do ?. And it's not the same for others, where has all the understanding people in my life gone to ?. Have I lost them ?, or have they changed ?, or is this the ugly truth of adulthood ?. All this has demoralized my life, what I'm special for. Those teenage days are so precious, I failed to treasure them, I kept complaining. Thinking back, those days are of the most wonderful/beautiful. 


My father, back in 2011. I hit him due to anger, & that was only because he instigated me while he was intoxicated. Till now, he doesn't consider me his son. As a son, it's hurting to know all this, my mum too. They're upset with me due to some money issues, but I hope that I could solve all their problems. I'm not expecting a great life. I already lost my " v ", I feel cheap because of that too.


If in case you didn't realize, while everybody's having a good time, with close friends etc. I'm here, holding the problems in life, it's not that I didn't make a effort to live it better, but it's just that society finds me a pain to be with. All in all, these are the greatest gifts from god for making others feel good. And carrying positive trades around. Though I want to be strong, decisive & experience emotional satisfaction again, I thank you lord. For not giving me all the problems in the world, but killing me with these few. Seems like no place of worship could help me ?. These aren't words of hope, but words of a million un cried tears & pain. Pure pain.

The Causes!

Well, I wasn't in action for sometime I assume? A lot of things happened, life has it's lessons.

The friends whom I thought will be with me with certainty weren't there.

So many new characters in my life, and they keep entering without a question,

and left without a answer. Only one of them are still standing there with me,

But I'm not here to weep about what happened to me. I just wanted to share life's lesson

with those people who are willing to read this. Well, upon close observation for depression

hatred and other types of negative views and incidents in life, I came up up with a conclusion

that everything is done by our mind. If a simple example is given for this explanation, it would

be helping someone in need with money. If the person is really helpless, you would follow your

heart or mind, if for a matter of fact that it's supposed to be your heart's conciousness. After you

help the person, you'd sense a great relief in yourself. Peace, isn't that what we all want?, it

can only be achieved with your heart conciousness. But on the other hand, your mind will start

saying that ``Why should I help him?'' ``What if he's just lying?'' ``Why must I waste my money?''.

Once you leave the scenario, you'll still be left disturbed. Our mind plays dirty when it comes to

situations. This example is for a sense of relief, well let's move on to frustration, anger etc.

If a person comes and hits you, your heart wouldn't want to retaliate, but if you work with your

mind the most, you'll start to have thoughts like `` What the? Did he just hit me?, I've to retaliate

to save my self pride''. Therefore, chaos is created, reason being, you worked with your mind.

Now let's move on to depression, most of the depressions in the world now, is caused by relationships.

If your partner, starts to maintain distance, your heart stays stiff, it'll say `` Maybe he/she doesn't love me

anymore, why bother them anymore?''. Whereas, your mind will start to form thoughts containing points

like, `` Is he/she leaving me for another person?'' `` Darn, if I break up, how am I going to face my friends?

whom I proudly told that he/she is my partner?''. Because of this, a person will be tempted to do anything

in confusion and depression. Result had varied over the years, suicide, became psycho, murder etc.

Why must all this happen?, why can't we just move our life with our heart?, being said that we're all ruled

by our selfish minds, that's the main reason for corruption. If we use lesser power of our mind, happiness

will come by itself. We don't have to make it happen, and most of the problems happen because we react

for short term pleasures, everything is for that period of time, and it leaves us with nothing but problems.

One example I could explain upon my views on the mind, when you look at a small picture, you can

have tons and tons of thoughts, but when you look at a scenery, your thoughts lessen, but which is more

peaceful?. Scenery or a single picture?, think for yourself. This was through close observation, I hope

my views aren't neglected in a large amount, I hope those who took the effort to read this, to understand

what I typed, carefully.

Remember, life is always a chance for us to live with peace, not violence, the day this whole world

will seem beautiful, is the day we drop violence...

Got to get over and be happy about it...

I've been feeling down lately, as in. For this whole week, reason is abit too lame to be
confessed. But that's what i feel deep down, if only i would have completed my sec 3( 2007)
properly, i wouldn't have felt this way. I could have gone for prom night today. but unfortunately
i can't. I mean, yea of course it hurts to see your closest friends who have been with you in your
class or same level for 3 years graduating before you. It's a unexplainable loss, they've graduated
and they're going for a final major event arranged by school. After they're gone, i'm no more
going to laugh my ass off like the old days. There will no more be any smoking activities in 6C with
them. There will be no more funny jokes made, there won't be any ``slacking after school'' at
Queenstown. There won't be anyone to tell me that they're supporting me and no one to ask
me not to worry. Haha, and there will be no one i could enjoy making fun of. My life will be
an entire ``quiet afterwards'' after this. But whatever it is, i am happy that they got to graduate
and they are moving on to the next stage of education. I wish them good luck. I dedicate this post
to the following persons.

• Suresh
• Shabeer
• Hamreesh
• Naresh
• Mansur
• Sanjeevan
• Firdaus

Thanks for the wonderful memories guys!!. All the best, for your life, enjoy it to the fullest. Batch 2005 is always missed...

Meensat!

This is going to be the most stupidest post of all!. Because i am not going to talk about something
with my strong points to voice out to the society. It's just about this boredom which i use MSN
to kill it, it's about this person in the name of ``Meensat''(not the real name). She has been
fasting lately due to the ISLAM tradition in the ``Ramadan'' month. She has been quite strict
with her fasting, but her love for chocolates has never gone down. So i remind her of how smooth
and nice chocolates are, she has been telling so strongly that i am so dead and stuff!. But surprisingly,
i am still alive. If she isn't capable of killing me, i really doubt what she is capable of. This is
all for now, sorry for posting an insensible and unsophisticated post.

Till then
zzzz
see ya folks!

Revolution depends on what we do!

I have been lately watching the news and some other programs that this

broadcasting crew in mediacorp have been telecasting in television.

It was depressing and disappointing when i heard of the biggest loss of the

music industry. Which was the death of our King Of Pop ``Michael Jackson''.

And for a few days, there was tears all around the world, die hard fans were

crying over the fact that he was dead infront of cameras. People were really

frustrated on the people who accused him when he was alive. Hmm..even i blogged

about this people whom i named them as ``f**kers with no life!''.

And people went around explaining their sorrows upon his death and were confident

enough that no one is going to take the lead. As if it were to happen, he/she has to

surpass our legendary King Of Pop. But the fact is that, even though i am also an fan

of ``Michael Jackson'', i think that in the future, there will be someone being considered

as a legend. People wouldn't stay the same as now, the reason why we were only focused

on Michael was mainly concerned with two reasons. One is that, we were praising him

all the while and kept telling and influencing the young people that nobody can surpass

his ability in music. I mean, that could be true but, due to this. Alot of the younger

generation had a lack of creativity. Some reasons for us supporting Michael is that

he does music differently, he created dance steps which can never been imagined

by someone. His songs have meanings and flows well, his music videos don't need

sexy and hot girls to make the people see it, which is what nowadays artiste do.

But this actually occurs due to us influencing the young generation, or the generation

before us influencing us that. No one can surpass Michael, listening to this and getting

influenced by them at that young age. We lack a level of creativity which people in

Michael's time had. Because if we really look deep in it, Michael's generation really

supported each other. Of course, when Elvis Presley was considered a legend and

when Michael was going on with his career. After Presley's death, people did say

the same thing about Michael that he can't surpass Presley. But in the end, what

really did happen?, Michael's death was a huge sorrow than Presley's death. Why?,

because Michael's generation supported his ideas, while that same generation told

us that no one can surpass his abilities. So as a result, we as the new and fresh ones,

can't find anyone to replace him. Everybody praises Michael and sings his praises but

none thinks about whose going to be the next legend?. I am not here to tell that there

might be someone to surpass him. But there might be someone who has his own abilities

to become a legend. I'm sure Michael would have also wanted a new legend to come

and make new music. I'm sure he would have wished that as an artiste. The moral

of this post is that there must be people waiting to create revolution in anything.

peace,

Vetha

See Ya Folks!

F**k life!

Life has been a bit like ermm..
f**ked up nowadays. I mean..my first day in
school was a screw up!. I had to attend a
smoking cessation at Queenstown Polyclinic. But, i didn't do so..
so yea, my screwed up DM actually made not attend the class on that
day.

Then, what happened was, he actually asked me to fix a bloody new
appointment with them again. And that appointment finishes at 10th july.
And guess what?, its the day my grand school event ``Aesthetics night'' is taking
place!. And he ordered/said that i can't attend class or i should say..suspended from
class till i finish this appointments. And throughout this days, i have to be sitting outside
the H.O.D room and doing my stuffs.

Today my friend Nigel came to me and talked to me during recess time, and said that
i did miss alot of stuffs regarding knowledge. And it was like, i never got to sit in my class
and do my studies for this 2 weeks. I miss those days sitting down, sleeping playing,
shouting in class. Now when i think back, i really miss the classroom envoironment,
Last time i used to whine about the class not being a study envoironment. But now,
i don't even have that you see. And i really hate sitting there at the H.O.D room witnessing
people looking at me like some asshole who has no life. But the truth is, i have a life.
I can't really tell much about this right now, cause it's a pain which is indescribable and
unexplainable. It's something which i can't cry out for, but something i can regret about.

Just for an polyclinic appointment, they made my life into a form of shit, this stupid
kunts deserve a slap on the face and an kick on their ass!. Thats all for now yea, so yea,
i shall post more later

See Ya Folks!

I can't take this shit..

Ermm...

Yesterday i woke up, having an negative mindset that. It will be the
same f**king shit as the day before. I walked over to the sofa,
switching on the television, I was shocked!, depressed!, lost!. The King Of Pop
was announced dead?. I couldn't believe this??..i don't know why, upon
hearing the news. I started tearing, it's like Micheal Jackson is a person
i really respected throughout and admired. Loosing him was like throwing away some of
my childhood memories,cause i grew watching him perform on stages. Bastards out there say that he acts
sissy, he went for plastic surgery EWWW!!! that's so like ARGGHHH!!.

Well i have one single questions for this assholes and p**sies. Since they talk
alot to this amount, can they come up to MJ(Micheal Jackson)'s standard?.
Can they have such a huge fan following as him?, can they sell their own
album which can be sold for 25 years straight from the release dates?.
Well the fact is, this motherf**king bitches can never do such things. All they
can do is to sit down and whine about how bad he is. I can't take this people,
this assholes should be shot dead in the middle of the road like killing an dog.
Thats what they deserve, for making fun and accusing a legend like MJ.

I mean, this idiots never let him stay in peace, throughout his career. Which was
from 1993 till this year, they kept accusing him and teasing him??!! a spoilt brat with
no life will do that. Cause the people in U.S.A are all spoilt brats, they will just do this
type of nonsense to accuse an famous artists. If i get a chance i will torture this people
to death, i won't kill them straight, i will make sure they experience pain mentally and emotionally
over and over again, until they cry out with tears of blood and die with starvation and depression.
But since i can't do all this because this is against a stupid thing called law. I shall tell this people
something,

``THOSE BASTARDS OUT THERE WHO HURT THE KING OF POP WITH/WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE WHEN ALL HE WANTED WAS TO SEE CHILDRENS HAPPY UNDER HIS CARE, IF YOU BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A DAY CALLED JUDGEMENT DAY. THEN YOU WILL SUFFER ETERNITY OF HELL!. I AM SERIOUS! YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS???..WELL I DON'T THINK SO. BE READY TO SUFFER THE
WORST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE!.. I CURSE YOU, YOU NO LIFE F**KERS!!!